Thursday, March 12, 2009

James Archibald - Biography

James was born in Provo, UT. He has lived in Indiana, Florida, Texas, Pennsylvania, Mexico and Israel. His life has now come nearly full circle since he currently resides in Provo, UT. He hopes to die in the infant ward of the Utah Valley Regional Medical Center so that the circle can be truly complete.

When James was still young, he found out that he was illiterate. "I worked really hard to overcome that; I hope that in a small way I can inspire some illiterate youngsters not to allow society to define them by their illiteracy" he says. "If there is one thing I want illiterate children to get out of this bio, it's that they shouldn't be discouraged, despite not being able to read these words, or even find them."

He found out he was funny when he wet his pants in kindergarten. "My classmates just couldn't stop laughing and I knew that I liked to make people laugh." After several years of service as his signature bit, James retired the pants-wetting gag. James says "I still try to write stuff that's funny on that level."

He keeps a blog. The most recent post is rapidly gaining historical interest. He joined Humor U after one of the comedians suggested that he repackage some of his blog ideas and deliver them as jokes. Upon hearing these jokes, the other comedians suggested that James not get discouraged and that he read a book about how to be a stand-up comedian.

James usually doesn't tell people how good at school he is, but just to give you an idea:

[rambly] This one time, he was doing homework and he was doing so well that he thought he would show it to this dog. The dog was so impressed with how well James had done his homework that he wanted to eat the homework.

James was like "no way,"
but the dog was like "I want to eat it so badly"
and James is like "just a little bit might be ok"
and then the dog was like "munch munch munch. . .this homework is delicious!"
and James was like "oh no, now I have nothing to turn in and only this dog and I know how good this homework was"
and then James asked the dog if he would vouch for him and the dog was like "bark bark bark."

You just can't trust dogs like you used to.