Christopher was inspired to write comedy in junior high after watching a fellow student slice off his own finger in wood shop class. He spends most of his time trying to determine which species of tree is plotting world domination.
Christopher also has freakish interest in leather work, the musical recorder, and French cheeses. He has mild interest in hot sauce. He recently purchased his weight in IBM-logo flip-flops.
If Christopher had three wishes from a genii, then he would wish for being "ethnic." After that he would announce retirement from wish-making. After a two-month hiatus Christopher would return, signing a 12-month contract with the New York Jets, after which he would fail to lead the Jets to the playoffs three years in a row.