Friday, November 21, 2008

Sarah Gave The World "The Bird"

Forget the turkey - pardon Gov. Palin. Her turkey farm interview this week is one of the most brilliant PR stunts I have ever seen. I can't speak for her intentions, but I love to guess. She does an interview that lasts several minutes long a few feet away from a man who is slaughtering turkeys. The shock and outrage that such a scene would cause the rest of the world was undoubtedly on her mind. After all the heat she got from everyone during the election, she is symbolically telling the world to "buzz-off". Her ironically symbolic message to her critics was so brilliantly crafted that I nearly cried after laughing for minutes. I think she let the interview go longer because she was having so much fun knowing that the scene behind her was going to be on national TV. This was a clear message to her critics of how much attention she pays to them, and just how concerned she will be when the tides turn on them. Happy Thanksgiving!

Thursday, November 20, 2008

What is that supposed to mean?

I saw this commercial for SelectQuote life insurance. At about 0:25 it says this:

Then, out of the blue, a brother-in-law died. No life insurance. Ned got the message, but didn't know where to start.

Got the message? Got the message? Who sends a message by killing someone's brother-in-law just because he didn't have "life insurance" ? "Out of the blue"--pah! how convenient! Nothing suspicious about that! Though I generally try to avoid provoking the ire of professional extortioners, I feel obligated to point out that this seems a lot like the tactics and vocabulary of the Gambino crime family.

Merry Christmas Fred!

On of my co-workers in my office is adamantly opposed to celebrating Christmas before Thanksgiving is over - not just over, but dead and forgotten. He gets red in the face any time he hears someone mention Christmas or sees anything that looks like Christmas - I haven't pointed out to him that red is a Christmas color and perhaps he shouldn't get so upset because someone might be reminded of Christmas by looking at his face. So for the last week I've done as much as I can to spread Christmas cheer in the office. The secretaries helped by getting our tree and up early. I hope is won't be upset to see the Advent Chain above my desk that counts down the "Days till Fred will let us celebrate Christmas..." I don't think he'll mind. I plan to offer him some of my candy apply this afternoon - an early Christmas gift that I got from a customer today. I think he'll like it.

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Guns, Ammunition and Christmas

Because Christmas is in a few weeks, I'd like to share my feelings about gun control. You see, Christmas at my house doesn't begin until the clay pigeons come out. A lot of people dislike guns because they kill people. But so do bullets folks. If you want to legislate guns, you have to start legislating homicide, and that's a slippery slope my friends -- a slippery slope indeed.

As for me, the debate starts where America started: on the frontier. I have some very close relatives, who on their own conscience, have decided to shun the commercials trappings of civility and live in the mountains. They eat meat. They don't kill for sport, but don't think for one second they couldn't. (As a side note: they hunt best a little buzzed, they're like the Joe Cockers of hunting). Anyway, last week one of my relatives who lives in the frontier with nothing to his name except a modified lean-two made from pine needles and the flannel on his back sent me a very interesting text. This text shared his frustration with the constant harassment from "rangers" for his gun permits.

This man can barely read the second amendment, and here he is supposed to know about licenses. He got fined for shooting a bear and finishing the job with a bayonet because he lacked the proper documentation! Unbelievable.

Gun control is making America safer, for the bears who want to kill us all. This is bad form.

I know what you are thinking: what can I do to make a difference? I suggest showing your support for my family this holiday season by supporting your own families, giving them semi-automatics -- the perfect stocking stuffer. And may we all be safe with our guns. They are plenty of psychos out there.

Saturday, November 15, 2008

I'm getting engaged

Yo!!!!! As I have mentioned before to you guys, I'm getting engaged and I was wondering if you guys have any ideas on cool and creative ways of popping out the question?

Thursday, November 6, 2008

Have you seen me?

James Littlejohn, beloved comedian and member of Humor U, went missing on 12/7/08. If you have any knowledge of his whereabouts, please contact us at At left is our most recent photo of James. Please help us to bring him safely home to his family and cat.

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

Nobody reads blogs.

Finally! A place to write all my thoughts that I secretly want people to know, but I'm too embarrassed to actually say directly to them. Isn't the internet wonderful! A place to permanently record all the banal thoughts I ever care to type. I'm certain the world will be a better place - and that I'll end up spending less money on my therapist.

Humor U Weblog

Message to all readers of this weblog: we blog. That's right. Humor U has started a blog. Though I cannot confidently predict all the content that will eventually be on this blog nor every purpose that it could serve, I sincerely hope that the blog lives up to its mission of providing a Humor U brand web experience to our clients and associates consistent with our long-term strategy and values by systematically integrating the the default blogger template with the collaborative capabilities and vision of Web 2.0 technologies, thereby increasing shareholder value and brand recognition via innovative, paradigm-shift-promoting jargon.