Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Guns, Ammunition and Christmas

Because Christmas is in a few weeks, I'd like to share my feelings about gun control. You see, Christmas at my house doesn't begin until the clay pigeons come out. A lot of people dislike guns because they kill people. But so do bullets folks. If you want to legislate guns, you have to start legislating homicide, and that's a slippery slope my friends -- a slippery slope indeed.

As for me, the debate starts where America started: on the frontier. I have some very close relatives, who on their own conscience, have decided to shun the commercials trappings of civility and live in the mountains. They eat meat. They don't kill for sport, but don't think for one second they couldn't. (As a side note: they hunt best a little buzzed, they're like the Joe Cockers of hunting). Anyway, last week one of my relatives who lives in the frontier with nothing to his name except a modified lean-two made from pine needles and the flannel on his back sent me a very interesting text. This text shared his frustration with the constant harassment from "rangers" for his gun permits.

This man can barely read the second amendment, and here he is supposed to know about licenses. He got fined for shooting a bear and finishing the job with a bayonet because he lacked the proper documentation! Unbelievable.

Gun control is making America safer, for the bears who want to kill us all. This is bad form.

I know what you are thinking: what can I do to make a difference? I suggest showing your support for my family this holiday season by supporting your own families, giving them semi-automatics -- the perfect stocking stuffer. And may we all be safe with our guns. They are plenty of psychos out there.